Category: Good Folks

I got an unexpected birthday present yesterday – a call from an old friend. The last time I talked with him was 15 years ago, yet it took less than 5 minutes to connect again. I have a hand full of friends from my college days that are like brothers and sisters to me. My friend who called yesterday is one of those few people.

If you’re lucky, at some point in life you’re able to really connect with others in an extraordinary way. It takes time, an enormous investment of time, to put yourself in a position to reach this pinnacle of friendship. So it makes sense, I think, for people that find these “100% guard down” friendships to find them during their high school or college years. For me it was during my college years and when this time in my life ended, I don’t think I was ready for it and it rocked me emotionally.

I think this type of friendship is rarely found later in life. The milestones of marriage and parenting make it next to impossible to invest the time necessary to build new extraordinary friendships, let alone continue those rare friendships from the past. I don’t think this should stop us from pursuing meaningful relationships, we just have to recognize that the time investment is a lot more difficult and be careful not to screw up more important priorities in our lives.

As I reflect on yesterday’s phone call, I think the best thing about college was the true sense of living in community. That is very difficult – perhaps impossible – to sustain or reconstruct later in life. At the same time, I realize how fortunate and blessed I was to have found the right people and to have experienced that time in my life.

There is a special connection with these people and I was reminded of that during my phone call yesterday. It also showed me, and not for the first time, that once these connections are established, they run so deep and are so meaningful that even after years, they just don’t go away.

So here are some questions that I hope will provoke some discussion/comments:

As we grow older, are we are becoming more private people, keeping more to ourselves and becoming less social? Is this just the normal pattern of life? Does being good at our jobs, good parents, and good spouses consume us? What are you doing to stay connected with those rare friends in your life?

“That was yesterday
I had the world in my hands
But its not the end of my world
Just a slight change of plans

Goodbye yesterday
Now its over and done
Still I hope somewhere deep in your heart
Yesterday will live on”