Perhaps my Mom knows more than anyone what it might be like to be married to Jesus. After all, my Dad is the closest thing I know to a saint.
Just a shout out to my good friend Matt White who has written his first book, Married To Jesus. You’ll also find his blog listed in my “Blogs I Read” list to the right.
Want to wet your whistle? Here is the entire first chapter.
According to my email, today was quite an amazing day.
Not only did I get an amazing, unsolicited job offer, I also won a million dollars. And just to cap it all off, I am finally through with scrubbing my toilet bowl!
Somebody pinch me. Can it get any better than this???
Price. Quality. Service. Pick two.
There are two kinds of good meetings: postponed and cancelled.
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Why do people who know the least always seem to know it the loudest?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
When a mime is arrested, does he have the right to remain motionless?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Why do they call it a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
Why does bottled water have an expiration date?
If someone told you they were a pathological liar, should you believe them?
He who throws mud loses ground.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Why do they call it lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Is it my imagination or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
I got three calls this week.
One for Mr. Augsberger.
Another for Doug Asberry.
And yet another for Mr. Assburn.
I am not making this up.
Come on people! It really can’t be that hard can it???
My friend Kristy sent me this link today:
Jeff Ruby Denies OJ Simpson Service
Jeff, I salute you!
They say that 40 is the new 30. How do I get in on that deal?
Why is it that since I turned 40, I feel 40?
This isn’t supposed to happen to me.
It would be very easy to blab on and on about the unfortunate down side of middle-age, but no worries. I’m not going there.
I’ve been thinking lately about the latter part of the phrase “Old and Wise”. I think part of gaining wisdom in age is simply the process of learning and coming to terms with who I am, exactly how God made me, what I’m particularly good at, and what I’m not-so-good at. And then (here’s the hard part) allowing myself to be absolutely fine with all of these things.
There is no doubt in my mind that many people never get to “feeling fine” about these things.
At 41, I’m really beginning to enjoy the peace that comes with “feeling fine” about some of the things I’m not-so-good at. For example:
A few of these things are quirky, simple things that few people would stress or be uptight about. But, I’ve still enjoyed getting old enough to be ok with them. And I’ll never sit in therapy over my unexplained affection for stickers.
Of course there are other, more substantive things like #8 above that I realize I certainly should not laugh off. These are the tougher things to come to terms with and I hope to make some strides this year on figuring out if I really want to make the effort to change them.
I am completely fed up with 1and1, the company that hosts one of our web sites and email.
Don’t you hate it when you call customer service or tech support and someone answers with a strong accent and a fake American name?
These are the same people that when they ask my name and I say, “Doug”, they ask me to spell it. Are you freaking kidding me? Of course, I then have to spell “D-o-u-g” seven times and receive a follow up email later to “D-o-u-g-h”.
How can companies not understand that this is a major mistake?
Here is what I entered into the customer service form after a very disappointing experience speaking with 1and1.com’s “technical support”:
By the way, if you haven’t seen the episode of 30 Days (great show on FX produced by Morgan Spurlock who made the Supersize Me documentary) called “Outsourced”, I highly recommend it.
I just remembered something funny that happened to me a few weeks ago. I call it The Bouncing Man Boobs Affinity.
I was driving through a strip mall and saw a guy coming out of a store. He needed to cross in front of me to get to his car. So I slowed down and gave the obligatory nod for him to cross in front of me towards the parking lot.
He returned to me a quick “man nod” plus bonus wave, then to be polite, he started into a slow trot toward his car. Almost as soon as he started into the trot, he immediately dropped his head and slowed to a brisk walk.
I instantly had an affinity with this stranger and knew exactly why … I even smiled and laughed a bit. Most men over 40 know exactly what I’m talking about.
As soon as the trot begins, the man boobs start the juggle. As all men know, the only thing worse than having man boobs is to be seen in public with them bouncing up and down. It doesn’t take long for the juggling action to make it to the brain which sends impulses to the feet to stop (NOW!) any activity that may be causing this anti-man, breast bouncing action.
Queue the female comments below … “Now you know what we have to go through…blah blah blah.”
Psalm 63 was written by David when he was in the desert of Judah.
In verse 1, what did David thirst for?
“O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you…”
If David were in the desert of Judah today, I’m hoping he’s not thirsting for America’s new faith-based energy drink “1in3Trinity” — even though it’s touted to be “handed down from the flourishing vines and trees of the Holy Land.”
What’s next?
HolyH20 bottled water?
ShemWeiser beer?
While doing some research for my recent Idol Familiarities post, I stumbled onto these pictures of Debbie Harry – Then and Now.
We are getting old folks.