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  • Old & Wise: The Wise Part

    They say that 40 is the new 30. How do I get in on that deal?

    Why is it that since I turned 40, I feel 40?

    This isn’t supposed to happen to me.

    It would be very easy to blab on and on about the unfortunate down side of middle-age, but no worries. I’m not going there.

    I’ve been thinking lately about the latter part of the phrase “Old and Wise”. I think part of gaining wisdom in age is simply the process of learning and coming to terms with who I am, exactly how God made me, what I’m particularly good at, and what I’m not-so-good at. And then (here’s the hard part) allowing myself to be absolutely fine with all of these things.

    There is no doubt in my mind that many people never get to “feeling fine” about these things.

    At 41, I’m really beginning to enjoy the peace that comes with “feeling fine” about some of the things I’m not-so-good at. For example:

    1. For whatever reason, I can’t spell the word “exercise”. And when I try to spell the word “specialty”, every single time I add an “i” near the end making it “speciality“. I think this latter defect has something to do with a fetish for Wallace and Grommit (“Windows are our speciality!” — did anyone get that?)
    2. For the life of me, I cannot easily open anything with a wrapper. Seriously. If it has a wrapper on it, don’t ask me to open it.
    3. If someone gives me a sticker, I either stick it on something immediately or hold on to it for years until I eventually do stick it somewhere. I have stickers people gave me 6 years ago and I can’t throw them away.
    4. Everything about my manhood does not want to tap my toe to The Dixie Chicks, but I must tap my toe and like pretty much anything The Dixie Chicks have ever recorded. (Note: Just like adding Hanson to my Top Musical Finds post, I realize I may lose friends over admitting to this …. and I’m ok with that too … you losers!)
    5. It’s becoming more and more possible every day that when I walk into a room to get something, once there I’ll have no idea what I’m there for. It’s getting so bad that sometimes when I finally remember and return to the room, I’ll do it again!
    6. I have to be careful not to shun people who put anything into a cup of black coffee. The good and evil battle in my head….”It’s ok if they like it that way”……”No! It’s just not right!”……”At least they are drinking coffee”……..”Blasphemy!”……Etc.
    7. For as good as I’ve become at Manic Multitasking Mode, which I do every day, I don’t know when to stop. No wonder I’m constantly “mind tired” and haven’t had a quality night of sleep in the last 15 years. I truly believe that the female brain is hard wired to support Manic Multitasking Mode. See what’s wrong with this picture?
    8. I’ve never been good at conforming to anyone or anything. This has been a major hurdle in my social and spiritual life.

    A few of these things are quirky, simple things that few people would stress or be uptight about. But, I’ve still enjoyed getting old enough to be ok with them. And I’ll never sit in therapy over my unexplained affection for stickers.

    Of course there are other, more substantive things like #8 above that I realize I certainly should not laugh off. These are the tougher things to come to terms with and I hope to make some strides this year on figuring out if I really want to make the effort to change them.

  • Top Musical Finds

    I’ve been wanting to do this post for quite some time and am glad to finally get it out to my faithful readership — all 7 of you. I love each and every one of you.

    It took me all of last year to rate all the songs in my music library. At the beginning of ’06 I had over 20,000 MP3 song files and after the year-long process of rating them, I was able to flush just over 5,000 of them. My current music library has just over 15,000 songs.

    Over the last several years I’ve read about and listened to hundreds of new bands. I guess seeking out great new music is like an ongoing easter egg hunt for me. The good news is, if you spend enough time looking … and trudging through a lot of crap and mediocrity … there really are some amazing bands making that glorious art of noise.

    Here are my top musical finds — my needles in today’s musical haystack:

    Mew
    Ben Folds
    Jason Falkner
    The Donnas
    Ok Go
    Owsley
    Angels and Airwaves
    Bleu
    Brendan Benson
    Willie Wisely
    Cherry Twister
    The Churchills
    The Rosenbergs
    Cosmic Rough Riders
    Edwin / Edwin & The Pressure
    Spiraling
    Gwen Mars
    Fountains Of Wayne
    The Frantics
    Guster
    Hanson
    India Arie
    Jellyfish
    Joe 90
    Kasabian
    Kevin Max
    Longwave
    Mayfield
    Prefab Sprout
    The Argument
    The Ark
    Rich Young Ruler
    Roger Joseph Manning Jr.
    Rooney
    The Soundtrack Of Our Lives
    Sugarbomb
    The Wondermints
    The Sugarplastic
    Taxiride
    The Tories

    Let me know if you would like specific album recommendations on any of these bands.

  • News Titling Snafu (MSNBC & Niger Innis)

    Somebody, please tell me how this can possibly happen??? Back in 2005 during the Enron scandal, MSNBC invited conservative Republican Niger Innis on to discuss “The Enron Mess”. Take a look at the major error made by whomever was working the titling:

    msnbc-niger-innis.jpg

    When typically they would be on this like rabid dogs, apparently not a peep was heard from The Revs Jackson and Sharpton. That sure is a head scratcher isn’t it???

    I’ve often wondered if the oft-liberal-leaning MSNBC got a free pass on this and what might have happened had this screw-up happened on Fox News?

  • National High Five Day

    Happy National High Five Day to all!

    [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=98Mm4JVbvmQ]
  • Ausbury Boys Tribe Tribute

    My wife got me a very cool Christmas gift. As she (and many of you) know, perhaps my favorite place on the planet is Jacob’s Field where the Cleveland Indians play. My gift was my very own brick in the Indians’ new Heritage Park.

    After coming up with several different things, I toiled over what to put on my brick — even asking several friends and family which of my ideas they liked best. I finally decided that I wanted something that would not just focus on me, but on all the Ausbury boys and their fondness of the Tribe. I wanted something that my boys would take their boys to see, and their boys, and their boys, etc.

    Here are two pictures of the brick, one from right above looking down and one zoomed in.

    This is for me, my Dad, my brothers Dave and Dennis, my nephew Austin, and my boys Grant and Collin … and of course, their boys and their boys. Hopefully someday my great, great grandson will be standing here, looking down at this brick with his son and both will be smiling:

    ausbury-brick-heritage-park-2007.jpg

    ausbury-brick-2-2007.gif

    Go Tribe.

  • A Case For Baby Poop Color

    Have you ever noticed that when some people try to describe a color they really dislike they pick a color and put the words “Baby Poop” in front?

    “Did you see Brian’s shirt at church yesterday? Can you believe that color? It was like ….. uh ….. well ….. like a ….. baby poop green.”

    “Holy cow! Did you see that car back there? That was the ugliest color I’ve ever seen. It was a … sort of like …. uh …. baby poop yellow.”

    Ok, just what color is baby poop? Is it brown-ish? Yellow-green? Sort of twead? That’s just it. I don’t recall my Crayolas including a crayon marked “Baby Poop” so there really is no universally agreed-upon baby poop color.

    All of this leads to some very serious questions we must ask ourselves:

    Is the mysterious color of baby poop getting a fair deal? Should poor baby poop really be the whipping boy of bad color? Shouldn’t we all stop looking down our noses at baby poop?

    It’s ironic that things that are actually the closest in color to actual baby poop are never bashed or rejected because they are baby poop colored. For example, no one ever says:

    “There’s nothing like a hot dog at the ballpark, especially with baby poop colored mustard!”

    and of course…

    “Ooooooh! Honey, come look at the baby’s baby poop colored poop!”

  • Outsourcing Customer Service Is A Mistake

    I am completely fed up with 1and1, the company that hosts one of our web sites and email.

    Don’t you hate it when you call customer service or tech support and someone answers with a strong accent and a fake American name?

    These are the same people that when they ask my name and I say, “Doug”, they ask me to spell it. Are you freaking kidding me? Of course, I then have to spell “D-o-u-g” seven times and receive a follow up email later to “D-o-u-g-h”.

    How can companies not understand that this is a major mistake?

    Here is what I entered into the customer service form after a very disappointing experience speaking with 1and1.com’s “technical support”:

    tech-support.jpg

    By the way, if you haven’t seen the episode of 30 Days (great show on FX produced by Morgan Spurlock who made the Supersize Me documentary) called “Outsourced”, I highly recommend it.

  • The Bouncing Man Boobs Affinity

    I just remembered something funny that happened to me a few weeks ago. I call it The Bouncing Man Boobs Affinity.

    I was driving through a strip mall and saw a guy coming out of a store. He needed to cross in front of me to get to his car. So I slowed down and gave the obligatory nod for him to cross in front of me towards the parking lot.

    He returned to me a quick “man nod” plus bonus wave, then to be polite, he started into a slow trot toward his car. Almost as soon as he started into the trot, he immediately dropped his head and slowed to a brisk walk.

    I instantly had an affinity with this stranger and knew exactly why … I even smiled and laughed a bit. Most men over 40 know exactly what I’m talking about.

    As soon as the trot begins, the man boobs start the juggle. As all men know, the only thing worse than having man boobs is to be seen in public with them bouncing up and down. It doesn’t take long for the juggling action to make it to the brain which sends impulses to the feet to stop (NOW!) any activity that may be causing this anti-man, breast bouncing action.

    Queue the female comments below … “Now you know what we have to go through…blah blah blah.”

  • Indians Snow-pening Day 2007

    This may be the strangest baseball experience my family and I will have in our lifetime. Only in Cleveland is it 28 degrees with blizzardy snow on Opening Day. After four snow delays, they finally gave up as Mother Nature won the battle. We stayed through it all and made some awesome memories.

    To see the rest of the photos, click here.